I think for sure that I'll catch Santa Clause in the act of invading my home this year, the crafty trespasser has been avoiding all my traps for years.
This year will be different, I baited my traps with chocolate chip cookies, and promises of three prostitutes' numbers.
I heard Santa likes those Ho Ho Ho's.
While typing this I realize this is a fail of a Christmas post, and I only decided to put something funny (corny?) in there to hide the fact that I only wanted to tell you Merry Christmas! :D
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
So it's an Undeniable Fact, Gandalf is Better than Yoda
True story, Gandalf would rape Yoda in the ass with his staff than slice Yoda to pieces with Glamdring. Then set him on fire because you always need to set shit on fire for some reason.
While I enjoyed both Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, I have to say that Lord of the Rings is FAR superior to Star Wars. In many ways.
One reason is the superb cast of totally awesome characters, whereas Star Wars only has a few badass characters. Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Sauron, the awesome Ringwraiths, creepy Gollum, Wormtonuge. The list of awesome Lord of the Rings characters is virtually endless, whereas Star Wars only has a few awesome characters. Han Solo (sounds creepily Chinese to me), Anakin, Obi Wan, Mace Windu, Darth Sidious and Yoda
Another reason that Lord of the Rings is better is because that Lord of the Rings has a better story, two hobbits set out to destroy a ring with a will of its own to defeat evil forever. Star Wars is basically about the destruction of a galactic empire. Politics never did no one any good.
Lord of the Rings has better awesome quotes, indeed Star Wars only has a few quotable quotes. Everybody in their life, in the proper situation, wants to yell, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" randomly at anything or anyone. The only quotable character in Star Wars is Darth Vader, which is permissible because Vader is badass.
Gandalf is better than Yoda. While this may spark a HUGE debate amongst Star Wars fans and Lord of the Rings fans, it is an undeniable fact that Gandalf would SLAUGHTER Yoda. Gandalf defeated a Balrog, cheated death, performed an exorcism on King Theoden, is amazing with a sword, and his clothes just look cooler. Not to mention that Gandalf is more intelligent and wise than Yoda.
Agree or disagree this is how I feel. ^.^
Now a few pictures to display Gandalf's awesomeness.
^ LOL
Gandalf even has his own road sign, FUCK YOU YODA!!!!
Update: Gandalf > Dumbledore
While I enjoyed both Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, I have to say that Lord of the Rings is FAR superior to Star Wars. In many ways.
One reason is the superb cast of totally awesome characters, whereas Star Wars only has a few badass characters. Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Sauron, the awesome Ringwraiths, creepy Gollum, Wormtonuge. The list of awesome Lord of the Rings characters is virtually endless, whereas Star Wars only has a few awesome characters. Han Solo (sounds creepily Chinese to me), Anakin, Obi Wan, Mace Windu, Darth Sidious and Yoda
Another reason that Lord of the Rings is better is because that Lord of the Rings has a better story, two hobbits set out to destroy a ring with a will of its own to defeat evil forever. Star Wars is basically about the destruction of a galactic empire. Politics never did no one any good.
Lord of the Rings has better awesome quotes, indeed Star Wars only has a few quotable quotes. Everybody in their life, in the proper situation, wants to yell, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" randomly at anything or anyone. The only quotable character in Star Wars is Darth Vader, which is permissible because Vader is badass.
Gandalf is better than Yoda. While this may spark a HUGE debate amongst Star Wars fans and Lord of the Rings fans, it is an undeniable fact that Gandalf would SLAUGHTER Yoda. Gandalf defeated a Balrog, cheated death, performed an exorcism on King Theoden, is amazing with a sword, and his clothes just look cooler. Not to mention that Gandalf is more intelligent and wise than Yoda.
Agree or disagree this is how I feel. ^.^
Now a few pictures to display Gandalf's awesomeness.
Update: Gandalf > Dumbledore
10 Reasons Why Spawn is the Best Superhero in the History of Graphic Novels
I enjoy reading comics, especially comics that have dark and mature overtones like murder, rape, etc. Some superheroes are great, Deadpool, Nightwing, Batman. Some are WAY too powerful, yes, Superman I am talking about you. You even manage to win despite your obvious hatred towards kryptonite. I mean seriously, Superman is too powerful, not to mention that your colleagues and peers are obvious morons to your true identity. Apparently glasses are sufficient enough to hide your true identity, a fact I might report to the Witness Protection Program
But some superheroes, aren't perfect. Some are incredibly volatile, and much more badass, they dismember, decapitate, eviscerate, are lost between both worlds, and exhibit very real human emotions. In my humble opinion, Spawn epitomizes this kind of character to a T. And I present to you 10 Reasons why Spawn is the most badass superhero.
1. He Gained His Powers by Selling His Soul to the Devil: Indeed, Spawn is only powerful and awesome because when he died he pleaded to see Wanda, his wife, one last time. So he sold his soul for love, and the devil (aka Malebolgia) gave him awesome power bringing forth the rage of the Inferno.
2. He Isn't All Powerful: Exactly, this is another feature that makes Spawn more badass. Superman is overpowered, mere weapons cannot destroy him, he has superhuman strength, speed, x-ray vision, etc. But these features of Superman make him overrated, and overpowered, not even his one weakness (kryptonite) can stop him. Spawn though, is essentially a demon and wields devastating powers, shapeshifting, superhuman speed, and strength, teleportation, utilizing his chains to slice apart his enemies, etc. BUT, Spawn has a limit on his powers, throughout the comics we notice that the more Spawn uses his Hellish powers, the closer he comes to a second death, and closer to the devil's control. Most superheroes don't have such features, their powers are permanent.
3. Spawn's Suit is Unique to Him: Spawn's suit is what grants Spawn the amazing Hellish powers he uses, but it also is a curse to him, as the more he uses his powers, the more the necroplasm becomes a part of him, therefore bringing him closer to a second death. A suit you can't take off, that grants you amazing powers, but also kills you is an amazing concept. Not to mention red black and white with a completely concealing mask with green eyes makes Spawn LOOK badass.
4. Spawn isn't EXACTLY a Good Guy: When Al Simmons died, he was sent to Hell (most comics avoid the concept of demons and Hell in my experiences), and was granted demonic powers and sold his soul to see his wife, and became a Hellspawn, a general in the devil's army. What superhero do you know that is essentially a spawn of Hell?
5. Spawn is Capable of Getting His Heart Broken: This point is proved again in issue #3 when Spawn finds out where his widow lives and attempts to get back into her life again, only to find his best friend married her. This torments him to no end and he rejects his deal with the devil. This is another feature that makes Spawn fucking awesome.
6. Awesome Concept for an Arch-Enemy: Essentially Spawn's two biggest foes in the comics are a demon named Violater which revels in the joy of tearing humans to pieces and ripping out their guts, and Maleboliga (the devil). What superhero has the root of all evil as an arch nemesis? None? I thought so
7. Spawn Shows No Mercy: Blasting enemies apart with a green bolt of energy, decapitating foes with his demonic chains, heals his mortal wounds miraculously, and in one instance, leaves a child molester hanging with chains driven deep into his body.
8. Spawn Gets More Powerful by Feeding off of Evil Things: Yes, heavenly and holy things render Spawn powerless, but most superheroes get more powerful by feeding off of good energy. Not Spawn, he gets more powerful as he feeds off of evil energies and evil aligned animals (wolves, snakes, bats, roaches, etc.) Merely only another feature that makes Spawn badass.
9. He is Empathetic to the Feelings of Other Humans: Seeing as how he gained his powers purely based on love, I think this renders Spawn to be more empathetic to human passion and emotion, thus he is not a perfect superhero.
10. Spawn is NOT PERFECT: Back to my example of Superman, he is a "perfect" superhero, is overpowered and has ONE weakness. Not Spawn, he has various examples, of which I stated, that makes him an awesome superhero, powerful, but not immortal, passionate, badass, with an awesome premise and abilities.
Of course, this is my opinion and yours may differ, but nevertheless, Spawn's back story is incredibly unique as it essentially shows us that Spawn and his powers are evil and demonic. That basic premise is why Spawn is badass.
Now, here's an awesome picture I found of my favorite superhero:
But some superheroes, aren't perfect. Some are incredibly volatile, and much more badass, they dismember, decapitate, eviscerate, are lost between both worlds, and exhibit very real human emotions. In my humble opinion, Spawn epitomizes this kind of character to a T. And I present to you 10 Reasons why Spawn is the most badass superhero.
1. He Gained His Powers by Selling His Soul to the Devil: Indeed, Spawn is only powerful and awesome because when he died he pleaded to see Wanda, his wife, one last time. So he sold his soul for love, and the devil (aka Malebolgia) gave him awesome power bringing forth the rage of the Inferno.
2. He Isn't All Powerful: Exactly, this is another feature that makes Spawn more badass. Superman is overpowered, mere weapons cannot destroy him, he has superhuman strength, speed, x-ray vision, etc. But these features of Superman make him overrated, and overpowered, not even his one weakness (kryptonite) can stop him. Spawn though, is essentially a demon and wields devastating powers, shapeshifting, superhuman speed, and strength, teleportation, utilizing his chains to slice apart his enemies, etc. BUT, Spawn has a limit on his powers, throughout the comics we notice that the more Spawn uses his Hellish powers, the closer he comes to a second death, and closer to the devil's control. Most superheroes don't have such features, their powers are permanent.
3. Spawn's Suit is Unique to Him: Spawn's suit is what grants Spawn the amazing Hellish powers he uses, but it also is a curse to him, as the more he uses his powers, the more the necroplasm becomes a part of him, therefore bringing him closer to a second death. A suit you can't take off, that grants you amazing powers, but also kills you is an amazing concept. Not to mention red black and white with a completely concealing mask with green eyes makes Spawn LOOK badass.
4. Spawn isn't EXACTLY a Good Guy: When Al Simmons died, he was sent to Hell (most comics avoid the concept of demons and Hell in my experiences), and was granted demonic powers and sold his soul to see his wife, and became a Hellspawn, a general in the devil's army. What superhero do you know that is essentially a spawn of Hell?
5. Spawn is Capable of Getting His Heart Broken: This point is proved again in issue #3 when Spawn finds out where his widow lives and attempts to get back into her life again, only to find his best friend married her. This torments him to no end and he rejects his deal with the devil. This is another feature that makes Spawn fucking awesome.
6. Awesome Concept for an Arch-Enemy: Essentially Spawn's two biggest foes in the comics are a demon named Violater which revels in the joy of tearing humans to pieces and ripping out their guts, and Maleboliga (the devil). What superhero has the root of all evil as an arch nemesis? None? I thought so
7. Spawn Shows No Mercy: Blasting enemies apart with a green bolt of energy, decapitating foes with his demonic chains, heals his mortal wounds miraculously, and in one instance, leaves a child molester hanging with chains driven deep into his body.
8. Spawn Gets More Powerful by Feeding off of Evil Things: Yes, heavenly and holy things render Spawn powerless, but most superheroes get more powerful by feeding off of good energy. Not Spawn, he gets more powerful as he feeds off of evil energies and evil aligned animals (wolves, snakes, bats, roaches, etc.) Merely only another feature that makes Spawn badass.
9. He is Empathetic to the Feelings of Other Humans: Seeing as how he gained his powers purely based on love, I think this renders Spawn to be more empathetic to human passion and emotion, thus he is not a perfect superhero.
10. Spawn is NOT PERFECT: Back to my example of Superman, he is a "perfect" superhero, is overpowered and has ONE weakness. Not Spawn, he has various examples, of which I stated, that makes him an awesome superhero, powerful, but not immortal, passionate, badass, with an awesome premise and abilities.
Of course, this is my opinion and yours may differ, but nevertheless, Spawn's back story is incredibly unique as it essentially shows us that Spawn and his powers are evil and demonic. That basic premise is why Spawn is badass.
Now, here's an awesome picture I found of my favorite superhero:
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